The other week I watched a fantastic performance by a Local Drag King: Master Cameron Eric Leon and he performed a new number about “nice guys”. This number was a satirical piece done to the song Sexy Bitch by David Guetta and Akon. So it got me thinking about this whole “Nice Guys Finish Last” shtick that some men rely on when cruising the single scene.
Don’t get me wrong there are a lot of nice guys out there but sadly there is a lot of “nice guys” out there too. These “Nice Guys” are self-entitled misogynist, heteronormative pigs. Yes, those are strong words and I will emphasize that I am not talking about every man. But those guys who rely on their “nice guy” boo-hoo act to make girls feel bad for not returning men’s affections or not sleeping with them, those are not nice guys but pigs. It comes down to the idea that if a man is “nice” to a woman she should return the “favor” and not only be nice back but sleep with him too.
This whole “nice guys finish last” thing is the sad ranting of an unsuccessful hetero male who feels slighted by women for not realizing how amazing he is and therefore won’t sleep with him. Women shouldn’t have to sleep with men because those guys are really “nice”, women may want to sleep with them if they are sexually attracted to the guy or the guy does not expect sex out of the casual conversation. Instead, these supposed “nice guys” are expecting some sort of exchange of sex for niceness and the ultimate goal is not a deep friendship or relationship but sex. The goal is to Finish Her.
Furthermore, whats so bad about the friendzone? Oh no, you’ve made another friend who may or may not want to pursue something more in the future. As if being friends is so bad because there is no sex involved? Women are not only good for sex! They are also good for conversation, debate and general human interaction which may or may not include sex. Now I know that some may argue that women also express frustration at being friendzoned or losing out on a guy because some chick stole him. 1) Wow, so hetero! 2) Guys are not necessarily expected to put out like women are expected too. Frankly, that’s how this whole dating thing works. There will be some people that you are interested in and that share that interest and there are some that it won’t work with. But shaming women who don’t put-out even though some guy was really “nice” is ridiculous and frankly sexist.
Lets stop being “nice guys” and start being nice people who enjoy conversation will each other and who accept that not everyone wants to have sex with you, nor you with them. Let the madness end!