The month of April marks warmer times spent shedding our winter coats and donning our rubber boots in preparation for the coming torrential downpour, signifying it is spring. Spring itself is known as a time of rebirth, new beginnings and playfulness. Even as an adult we cherish times where our inner-child is welcome to enjoy our surroundings by splashing in that gigantic puddle or dancing in the rain. Spring for Wicked Wanda’s is a time to try new things, and to reconnect with oneself and learn new ways to pleasure yourself and partner/s. Our theme this month is April Showers – a focus on female ejaculation and the wonders of the truly fulfilling pleasure one can find in the bedroom.
Female ejaculation however is riddled with complex societal perceptions and reservations. Whether this is from a long history of Catholicism or the neoliberal capitalist society that doesn’t leave time for orgasms in our daily lives, our sexual culture is strangely distant from even the possibility of female ejaculation. There is arguably an intense stigma against female ejaculation, partially because it can encompass a wide variety of meanings. From squirting or gushing to very little fluid, every woman is different.
Squirting for instance is regarded by some as an extremely unique phenomenon that most women cannot achieve. Others believe that only the most sexually promiscuous of women can achieve ejaculation to that level. Individuals like our Sexpert™ Julia ‘Muse’ Winston believes that with “proper instruction, attention, circumstance, and mental safety,” most women can squirt. Furthermore, Winston is the artistic mind behindThe Squirt Project which argues that female ejaculation and squirting specifically is incredibly healthy physically, mentally and spiritually and that the stigma against squirting needs to stop. Even in the sex world, squirting is fetishized as “different” and for different tastes. Squirting can be achieved by many in many different ways – solo or with a partner, from vaginal to anal, from clitoral to G-spot, the possibilities are endless.
On the other hand however, there is perhaps an even more intense stigma against those women who are not usually incredibly wet. A culture of criticism around the functions and expectations of the vagina lead women to be ever conscious of their possible “problems”. As oftentimes wetness is socially constructed as an indicator of desire; women can become incredibly self-conscious, leading to a vicious cycle of confidence breakers feeding into more confidence breakers. As I’ve heard many times: The biggest sex organ is the brain. There is a terrible epidemic of stigma against women who do not fit into the pornographic perceptions of female sexuality and that includes how women orgasm and female ejaculation.
Women’s bodies are incredibly capable in finding pleasure in many places, by many means and our culture’s judgey-face against squirting or for that matter, not ejaculating enough, is damaging to our sex lives. Confidence is the sexiest thing anyone can have and by supporting the consensual exploration of women’s bodies, we build confidence and thus we build better orgasms. Go out there ladies, find a way to make your naughty bits happy and perhaps our partners can help in the process.
To check out all the toys to help in your exploration, see our product selection online or come into the store to speak with our knowledgeable staff.
Lilith Out!
Femme Fatale 