Sex Blog

This page consists of original written work by Lilith for personal bloggity purposes or for the website and company Wicked Wanda’s Adult Emporium. All work is for public viewing and please feel free to share across the web.

Glass Dildos LoveStyle Reviewed

My first encounter with glass dildos was strangely violent and fascinating at the same time. My inaugural Sexapalooza, I was walking towards theLoveStyle booth chatting with my friends about my fascination with glass dildos but how ultimately my fear of horrific glass shards lacerating my bits stopped me from ever full exploring the option. The lady behind the table must have heard our discussion as we approached because without a word, she grabbed the nearest glass beauty and smashed it as hard as possible against the table in front of her. It was terrifying. Yet she proved her point with flare- there is no chance a vagina is going to break the dildo is the table or floor can’t.

Today I am reviewing the LoveStyle product-line of glass dildos and specifically the Lotus. This dildo is beautiful and efficient as the artistic form of the LoveStyle products and the utility makes my adult sexual vixen happily jumping in her panties. The very appearance of the dildos is what first caught my eye years ago at Sexapoolza, as they reminded me of the elegant water-pipes that one can find in certain herbal-friendly shops. An artisan touch which makes one think that maybe it could be displayed as an elegant paperweight on your desk without visitors screaming in fright or glee at the very sight of it. What can I say, I love pretty sex toys. Many of the different dildos have interesting artistic flares, such as coloured glass and designs featured within the glass itself. A sophisticated toy for the city-chick or trendy couple as the designs and shapes are graceful and engaging.

While looks are most definitely a selling point while shopping for your next favourite toy, the practicality of it is even more important to consider. What are the benefits of glass, you might ask? Firstly, it is easy to clean and maintain. You can simply use soap and water or toy-cleaner to keep your glass friend happy and healthy. Maintenance is practically non-existent as you do not have to worry about it hanging out with LoveStyle Glass Dildos and Dilettossilicone friends to often (silicone toys should be kept separate from each other because they can melt into each other- cute in metaphor but bad for your toys and budget). You also do not have to worry about battery decay or surface degradation because the glass will not wear-down, nor does it come with batteries. Lastly, you can use any lube you want with it – silicone or water-based play nicely with the glass. I love that it is so incredibly easy to clean and it is fully water-proof as well. Playing in the bath with them makes bath-time loads of fun for solo play or with a partner.

My absolute favourite part of owning a glass dildo is that you can heat them up or cool them down. Imagine if you will, the warm blanket feeling after pulling one right out of the dryer: now imagine that amazing feeling on your bits! Warming them up got me riled up so quickly that I wondered where those animal noises had come from. Don’t put your toy in the microwave or in a bowl of boiling water because you will have to wait to use it- no fun. I put my dildo in the washroom sink and turned the hot water on over it. I then brushed my teeth and my the time I was done, so was my friend- ready for sensual fun. Or you can cool it down in a bowl of ice or under cold water for a few minutes. While I wouldn’t recommend starting with a chilly dildo, after lots sensual fun where one is sweaty and over-sensitive- the cold can feel wonderful, just like playing with ice cubes. The great part about glass, is that it retains the heat or cold very well, so you have more time for temperature play then say an ice cube or warm towel. Alternatives for getting the hot and cold feeling is condoms or lubricant but I would give a word of caution with those products. Some work but always read the ingredients and see what chemical makes that sensation happen- some are alright for the body and some, like alcohol, are not good. Being able to get the hot/cold sensation free from chemicals is a huge bonus for me and I think a lot of women and partners out there will appreciate that too.

Lastly, there are negatives to this product, but I would more describe them as “six in one, half dozen in the other” points. The glass is very hard, there is no soft texture like the silicone which can simulate skin for the glass dildos. This can make the adjustment for penetration difficult at times or it takes longer foreplay to insert the toy. This also means that you feel everything, the dildo does not absorb any of your vibrations but instead one feels all of the curves and pulses that your own body and the toy provides. Another positive/negative is that the toys are fairly heavy. This means that using the toy can be tiresome after a long while of use both with partners or solo play. I appreciate the weight of it because you can use the weight to your advantage to gain greater depth of penetration and I’ve always enjoyed how weight can often be an indicator of quality- like stone pendants and other artistic items. My third point is the price. These toys are expensive with prices ranging from $110 to $200 and considering you can get rubber dildos for $10, it seems like a lot of money. Likewise, you can find glass dildos online for $40. Often times however when it comes to sextons – you get what you pay for. I would not trust $40 glass dildos near my partner’s or my genitalia and when you go to those company’s websites, you’ll see the sketchy nature of cheap products. With theLoveStyle products, you get quality no matter what. A toy which lasts you lifetimes and you know without a doubt of the authenticity of the product is worth the extra money.

The Lotus which I personally use is $114.99 in the store and you can find other great glass dildos which can be used for vaginal, anal and sensation play. The Lotus, like all of the dildos, can be used on both ends for all kinds of play and I would strongly recommend that you come into the shop today to check out these great products.

Wicked Wanda’s Adult Emporium

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Dare to be Bare Shaving Cream- Reviewe

Ottawa has many socially conscious, and animal friendly people craving products which reflect their ideals yet actually work and are affordable. Recently, I tried Earthly Body’s Dare to be Bare shaving creams and I was astounded by the value found in such a small bottle. A cruelty-free, vegan natural shaving cream, Dare to Be Bare is a wonderfully scented product that tickles my ethical fancy. The two products one can find at the Wicked Wanda’s Adult Emporium are the Dare to Be Bare: Original and their other scent: Dare to Be Bare: Skinny Dip. This shaving cream is specially engineered to take care of those intimate places which often suffer from harsh irritation after the razor cleans her up. Enriched with hemp and argan oils, this product stimulates the hair for better shaving, softens and moisturizes the hair and skin while helping to reduce rashes and skin bumps which makes our lady bits unhappy.

dare to be bare product shotThe Original is perfumed wonderfully with a strong scent of gardenias which entices and excites while the Skinny Dip fills the nose with a kind of spiced shea butter aroma. Counter to many of the other shaving creams on the market today, Dare to be Bare is actually cream-based and no foam, meaning that the proclamation of moisture protection is actually true. Furthermore, being petroleum and paraben free, your skin will like it just as much as your senses do. You also do not need use a lot of the product because it spreads so easily.

If I were to critique this product, I would note that the cream comes off in small lumps in the tub which eventually dissolves, but it is not great for erotic bath times. I would also note that the Original is very perfumed which may bother individuals if they are sensitive. For myself, I gravitated towards the Skinny Dipproduct because it was not as highly scented but I smelt more earth tones which are exactly what I look for in a real natural product. Lastly, this product advertises that it is unisex and can be used anywhere on the body. Due to the scents of both products, I don’t believe men would be interested in most cases, but to each their own. I do believe however, that it can be used anywhere on the body: legs, armpits, arms, and general fun bits are very happy to receive like extra pampering during their regular grooming rituals.

LILITH Out!

A Note on Female Ejaculation

A note on Female Ejaculation

The month of April marks warmer times spent shedding our winter coats and donning our rubber boots in preparation for the coming torrential downpour, signifying it is spring. Spring itself is known as a time of rebirth, new beginnings and playfulness. Even as an adult we cherish times where our inner-child is welcome to enjoy our surroundings by splashing in that gigantic puddle or dancing in the rain. Spring for Wicked Wanda’s is a time to try new things, and to reconnect with oneself and learn new ways to pleasure yourself and partner/s. Our theme this month is April Showers – a focus on female ejaculation and the wonders of the truly fulfilling pleasure one can find in the bedroom.

Female ejaculation however is riddled with complex societal perceptions and reservations. Whether this is from a long history of Catholicism or the neoliberal capitalist society that doesn’t leave time for orgasms in our daily lives, our sexual culture is strangely distant from even the possibility of female ejaculation. There is arguably an intense stigma against female ejaculation, partially because it can encompass a wide variety of meanings. From squirting or gushing to very little fluid, every woman is different.

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Squirting for instance is regarded by some as an extremely unique phenomenon that most women cannot achieve. Others believe that only the most sexually promiscuous of women can achieve ejaculation to that level. Individuals like our Sexpert™ Julia ‘Muse’ Winston believes that with “proper instruction, attention, circumstance, and mental safety,” most women can squirt. Furthermore, Winston is the artistic mind behindThe Squirt Project which argues that female ejaculation and squirting specifically is incredibly healthy physically, mentally and spiritually and that the stigma against squirting needs to stop. Even in the sex world, squirting is fetishized as “different” and for different tastes. Squirting can be achieved by many in many different ways – solo or with a partner, from vaginal to anal, from clitoral to G-spot, the possibilities are endless.

On the other hand however, there is perhaps an even more intense stigma against those women who are not usually incredibly wet. A culture of criticism around the functions and expectations of the vagina lead women to be ever conscious of their possible “problems”. As oftentimes wetness is socially constructed as an indicator of desire; women can become incredibly self-conscious, leading to a vicious cycle of confidence breakers feeding into more confidence breakers. As I’ve heard many times: The biggest sex organ is the brain. There is a terrible epidemic of stigma against women who do not fit into the pornographic perceptions of female sexuality and that includes how women orgasm and female ejaculation.

Women’s bodies are incredibly capable in finding pleasure in many places, by many means and our culture’s judgey-face against squirting or for that matter, not ejaculating enough, is damaging to our sex lives. Confidence is the sexiest thing anyone can have and by supporting the consensual exploration of women’s bodies, we build confidence and thus we build better orgasms. Go out there ladies, find a way to make your naughty bits happy and perhaps our partners can help in the process.

To check out all the toys to help in your exploration, see our product selection online or come into the store to speak with our knowledgeable staff.

Wicked Wanda’s Adult Emporium

Lilith Out!

The Theory of Everything is Sexless!

What  a powerful film focusing on the great Professor Stephen Hawking and his badass wife Professor Jane Hawking! Isn’t is great when the story of love through adversity triumphs! Except that this movie is a load of shit. I will recognize that the cinematography in it is beautiful and the acting isn’t half bad but I cannot forgive another portrayal of a disabled man as utterly desexualized.

The Muff- Honest Thoughts on Pubic Hair

Article written for Wicked Wanda’s Adult Emporium, as Sexpert Lilith

The muff, bush, patch, forest, trimming and gift-wrap, to the carpet, happy trail, lady garden and pubes, pubic hair is a wonderfully strange aspect of one’s life and identity. For something which everyone thinks about at some point in their life, no one really wants to talk about it. From the historical roller-coaster of necessity and practicality, to the religiously informed aesthetics we see in pornography, pubic hair is complicated. My first vivid memory of pubic hair that I can remember was when I was some where around 12 years old and I was in the kiddy pool that my next door neighbour set up on the lawn in front of their house. It was a hot day and my best friend at the time and I were attempting to cool down in the sweltering heat when I look up at her, as she rose from the pool and I saw dark, curly hair peaking from around her bathing-suit bottoms. I remember being stunned at the time. What and why are there weird things… down there: As my parents called it sometimes: the no-no place. Yet, as I grew older the images I saw on screen and in the porno mags I stole a peak from, there was no hair down there. I remember feeling self-conscious about it, especially during the summer where swimsuits haunted me as I assessed the amount of body hair which was acceptable before going to the beach. Then romantic and sexual feeling arose for various individuals and my mild obsession with people’s opinions got me asking questions about if I could be desirable if I had pubic hair, and whether anyone else could sense that I did or didn’t have some, or worse, they could smell me. Like some women and men who have removed pubic hair in an effort to be clean, I worried that I was dirty for having pubic hair or was I dirty for having a vagina?

I realize now that pubic hair is kind of like the frog, it is an indicator species. Perceptions about pubic hair is a gateway into understanding culture, religion and social ideas/ practices through out time, much like how toys have been analyzed. Overtime, pubic hair and the expectations of grooming for both men and women have greatly changed, as pubic hair did not appear to matter greatly until Christian and religious ideas of morality and cleanliness became infused into law, society and culture. While it is arguable that this change to a more modest enjoyment of the human form is due to religious ideas of fully covering where pubic hair and leg hair (for women) simply wouldn’t be seen under all those layers of dresses, even art displays a turn away from the bush. Slowly but surely, pubic hair became embarrassing and obscene while alternatively the necessity of grooming further complicates that narrative. Some women in the 1450s got rid of pubic hair to help eradicate pubic lice but they then donned what is called the Merkin or pubic wig, some donned these wigs to cover syphilis later on. (Note: never shave to get rid of pubic lice, they dig in, go to your doctor, and yes, the use of Merkins to cover syphilis does not help the idea that pubic hair is unclean.) Then the introduction of the swimsuit which would reveal pubic hair in the 20th century drove more women to trim their muff. Arguably, the muff is a fading memory sacrificed to the gods of aesthetics.

Yet what does ideas and practices regarding pubic hair say about society? Another way to control women’s bodies? Is the shaming of pubic hair really the shaming of the vagina or of the abyss of untold wonder and turmoil? Some have argued that the disappearance of the carpet is an attempt to make women look more per-pubescent and some say it just makes them feel cleaner. For men, does it make the Johnson look bigger? Or does bush make them look manlier? Ultimately, it comes down to the individual person. Yes, culture has a huge effect on our ideas about pubic hair but people are not mindless consumers which absorb the latest trends without a thought, people negotiate with these trends and culture-based changes constantly. Some individuals choose to rebel against the totalitarian regime of the bikini wax, whereas other simply like the feel or look of a bare vulva or nutsack. In my informal research into what people think about pubic hair, the opinions ranged dramatically. Some indicated that they did not like any pubic hair on themselves or their partners, especially when oral sex was to be performed. Others said that they preferred a little bit of hair because it made them feel like they were with a mature adult. Many indicated that the maintenance of the bush was largely due to practicality; shave or wax totally and razor burn, rashes or ingrown hairs happen, don’t trim and underwear pinches and pubes sometimes gets in your lovers teeth. One friend noted that she picks out nice wrapping paper for gifts but its the contents that counts. Whereas others noted that they really didn’t care but if their partner did, then they would try to make an effort for the other person’s preference.

While the great pubes debate has been criticized by some for being very hetero in its approach, no matter sexuality or even gender preferences, we think about pubes and what to do with them. There are so many different approaches to analyzing pubic hair, such as a feminist critique of the patriarchy or a marxist criticism of capitalism, to a queer critical question of “who’s bush are we talking about”. That maintenance or lack-thereof can be a powerful personal statement of one’s own politics, one’s identity or just how someone feels most comfortable. Personally, I like a little turf above the house and I like my partners to have that too. Yet, really there isn’t a good or bad way to maintain your no-no place, male, female or otherwise. There is nothing unclean about pubic hair, and you can get that fact checked by your doctor. Some are arguing now that the bush is making a comeback in pop culture media, even saw bush on both the 50 Shades of Grey characters this past week at the movies. Ultimately, what almost everyone I’ve encountered has said about pubes is that is has to be comfortable, and that comes from being comfortable in your own body, whatever way it takes to achieve that. One can be sexy and playful with a full muff, trimmed bush, waxed mound or heart-shaped packaging.

Lilith Out!

What do you think about muff? Do you consciously make decisions towards grooming because of your own political views or does it depend entirely on the comfort of yourself and your partners?

50 Shades of… What? A Feminist Perspective

I had too. I felt I could not criticize 50 Shades of Grey properly if I did not personally watch the film, and after seeing it tonight, I have to say…. what? I realized quite early in my adventure that my pre-conceived notions of the film were highly influenced by the various posts on Facebook and various other blogs which painted the film in less than favorable colors, as even standing in line to see it… was slightly embarrassing. To begin, I have read the books and my perspective on them have always been rather complicated as the strange stalker/ control-freak Grey creeped me out, yet the topic of kink in mainstream society and social media culture excited me. As the theater was packed to the brim and everyone was more excitedly loud then one would usually find within a movie theater, I guarded myself against the worse affront seen on the big screen since Tom Green.

I can say honestly that the movie was not nearly as bad as I had expected. Yes, there were questionable aspects which mirrored events and dialogue in the original books, but the script and production team were brilliantly aware of themselves and the content they were portraying. A large criticism which I too take issue with is the creep factor of one Christian Grey as he is manipulative, controlling and staker-like. The movie is entirely aware of this and largely succeeds at turning those uncomfortable traits into comedic relief. Anna is wonderfully refreshing as an awkward yet quick-witted character which one personally did not see in the novels. I would not argue that the movie makes light of emotional and physical abuse within some relationships but I would argue that it is self-aware and therefore self-reflective. Don’t get me wrong, the horribly, un-savory “personality” of Grey is not magically gone but it seems they attempted to make some of his more rough edges consumer and big screen ready.

I also liked the fact that the movie ended on a note about consent. I won’t spoil anything for folks (because spoilers go to the 10th level of hell for that especially heinous crime) but Steele tells Grey to stop (which he doesn’t listen too), but then she very firmly said No and that stopped him in his tracks. This may be minor but I appreciate the intense and much needed note of consent at the end, especially in light of a lot of the criticism around the books. Though lets be honest, he should have stopped at Stop…

So obviously I had some issues with the movie because frankly there were problems on a lot of levels and fronts which are grievous.

1) The movie-makers may have tried to scan over the totally ridiculous contract, but we saw it and heard. Forcing your submissive or any partner into getting birth-control- Nope. Being available for any sexual activities the Dominant wants, at any time (regardless, of what the Submissive wants)- Nope.

2) There was some steamy sex but did anyone else notice that the BDSM aspects were only really implemented in the foreplay or the building up to the sex. The kinkiest thing they did during sex was doggy style. This is not to say that all BDSM is about sex or penetration but considering the hyper about all the kinky sex… not that kinky.

3) I have a huge issue with how one of the last scenes was handled. They portray Steele as trapping or baiting Grey into pushing her too far then she freaks out and its not fair to Grey. This is not correct in a plethora of ways. Firstly, in a Dominant/ Submissive relationship the Sub is not the only one who has limits that must be respected. The Dominant’s limits have to be a part of the equation. That is why it is especially scary when one comes across a Submissive who will not use the safeword out of pride, stubbornness or a want to prove something. While the Submissive must trust the Dominant to stop when the safeword is used, a Dominant must be able to trust a Submissive to use that safeword and to not push the Dominant past their own limits. Secondly, while BDSM can be used to exercise personal and emotional demons, that is not how all BDSM relationships are. The depiction of Grey’s pension for BDSM as a direct result of gruesome childhood physical, emotional and sexual trauma is harmful to the community at large. Yes, there are some who have been abused who are a part of the community and unfortunately, abuse in many forms is far more rampant than any of us would comfortably admit, but not everyone in the community is a victim or perpetrator. Being Kinky, whether that is BDSM or not, is just changing up the routine and exploring various aspects of one’s sexuality and sensuality.

I would not say that the 50 Shades movie is a total write-off but I would simply say, enjoy with a grain (or two) of salt. Enjoy the wonderful world of kink, go out and buy a blindfold, even a flogger but do it safely with research and communication. I really wish the movie had mentioned the cardinal rule of kink and BDSM: Safe, Sane, and Consensual.

Overall, I would rate this movie a:

1/ 5 on Kink Factor

3/5 For not being as bad as I expected

4/5 for being an example of the long way STILL left to tread on our road to safe, sane, consensual kink on the big screen.

0/5 For Being So Hetero!

Lilith Out!